and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
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