Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
