I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
