he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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