I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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