she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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