So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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