when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
