Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize