that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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