LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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