what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
