i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
