I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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