at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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