just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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