Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
