I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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