If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
