fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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