I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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