can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
