So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
