great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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