Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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