Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
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Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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It's rum buckets o'clock
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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