i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
