I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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