I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
