i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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