Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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