I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
