if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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