i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize