Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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