matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
