on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
