im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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