I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
