$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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