It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
