she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
bring money and cleavage
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
