I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
