Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
