people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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