so explain again why im purple
no
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
