He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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