ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize