I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Green mimosas i think yes
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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