operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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