he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
