Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
