You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize