At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
my poor anus
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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