I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
