google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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