So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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