my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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