She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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