First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
