party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
