let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
