I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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